Inside this guide, you’ll discover:

• Healthy After-School Routines: Learn to nourish your child’s body and prepare them for a restful night.

• Tech-Free Family Time: Get tips on how to make the most of those crucial evening hours without distractions.

• A Step-by-Step Bedtime Routine: From physical activities to quiet, calming play, you’ll have the structure you need to make bedtime peaceful and easy.

• Relaxation Techniques: Humming exercises and affirmations that help your kids relax and fall asleep faster.

• Personal Tips from a Mum & Holistic Expert: Get insight from a registered nurse, holistic counsellor, and meditation teacher who has years of experience helping families create intentional and calming evenings.

If you’re ready to say goodbye to bedtime struggles and finally enjoy peaceful, restorative nights for the whole family, Bedtime Secrets for 4-10 Year Olds is your go-to solution.

So Lets begin.

We all struggle with the balance of modern technology and handing over your kids childhood to a plethora of pre recorded programs and entertainment. Let’s face it we all love a little guilty MAFS sessions, Yellow stone or the latest Crown series. But we all know when we start its hard to turn it off. It’s the same for kids, giving them a little then removing it is like give giving them a candy and them wanting to chase you down for the whole bag.

We have all experienced letting our kids play a few games, or watch a few shows and then going through the sequence of demands for more games and more screen time. We also suffer the frustration of them not listening and the inability to re engage with their toys. So what are we doing? I often question the impact of this mind numbing activity, not letting them be bored so they can start using their minds to do imaginary play. We really don’t know the depths of how harmful modern technology is for our children or if it transfers to other additive behaviours. And the fact that you are here tells me you also care enough to look for a reason or support to hold the line.

As parents we have struggled a lot especially after COVID when even outdoor play was discouraged, so crazy when you think back. Please don’t think back. There is a lot of the unknown. So thats why I have become passionate in this space and have developed a loose but clear structure around behaviour and habits at home to help our children thrive and put us as parents back in the driver seat of parenting our children again. Like, do you really want your child raised by a random You Tuber? I know I don’t.

We have a hard no You Tube in our house unless its on the TV and we are watching it with you. There is a couple of shows that come highly recommended such as Miss Rachel and Danny Go. But if you don’t have time to vet the programs, for us its not an option.

Let me explain. We all know that if your are watching something you are consuming those images, those voices, those ideas, that way on thinking and so on. So my question to you is do you really know what your kids are consuming? A lot of us are working two jobs to manage with the cost of living, or are a single parent and are two house hold income earners so at the end of the day you are spent and probably want to sit down and DOOM scroll yourself and switch off, not be worrying or investigating what your kids are viewing and whom they may even be talking to on line. But I say investigate and vet. 

Now this guide is not about screen time or the impact screens are having on our children. This is about becoming present to your children, engaging in family activities that assist in clawing back that much needed down time at the end of the day and rebuilding family connection and you being the positive voice and the person your kids turn too.

So lets talk about what its going to take. See its much easier to do the above. But what if I told you that if you could focus on your kids needs fully and uninterrupted for approximately 2.5 hours starting at 6pm that would have your kids in bed asleep by 830pm. Would you be interested? Would you be interested in knowing our secrets?

I know a lot of families struggling to get their kids asleep by 8:30 PM Every Night. Are burnt out and feel like they are losing their sanity. They are exhausted from work and the never-ending bedtime battles. And really miss the peaceful evening where your kids are asleep by 8:30 PM, giving you that much needed time to decompress from your day, take a bath, have sex, unwind with a show or a good book.

So at the start of this I said there was some bad news, here it is. Its going to take a lot of initiative on your part, a lot of drive to hold the line and direction to stay on track. The good news is I will share the guide with you to follow. There is a couple of ground rules for you to follow and here they are. Kids need your un divided attention, so turn off your mobile phone or turn off the notifications or put it in a place out of site. Unless you are on call for an emergency you need to put on your do not disturb. Remember you can tend to all your messages, notifications, insta updates when the kids are asleep if you can’t wait to tomorrow. And the benefit is your attention wont be split.

The problem of having your phone handy to take your attention away affects and has an impact on your kids. As humans we make behaviour, actions and words mean stuff. Like ‘Mum or Dad doesn’t care’, ‘I wish I was a phone so I could have mums or dads attention’, ‘Im not important’, the list goes on. But the reality is they do and it has an impact.

Kids will instantly be inquisitive with your new found attention to them and structure. If they don’t like it they will also try to buck what you are doing so try bring the fun to this time. Change is always difficult in the beginning. But kids also thrive with structure and a regular routine.

And the biggest this you need to bring to the table is being present. Present by looking them in the eyes and acknowledging everything they say and ask. Which is the bad news because this wont work unless you are fully present focused and intentional with the steps and taking care of their needs and directing their attention. The problem is if you are not fully present it can very quickly turn into a power struggle and chaos. Nothing will change unless you step into your power and be the change walking around by putting your phone up and stepping them through the evening which includes feeding them and helping them with their homework, playing games with them and brushing your teeth together. 

Now a quick disclaimer. What I’m about to suggest won’t work for everyone. Because we are all different but if you are in hell right now, I would suggest trying this on for the next couple of weeks to see what is possible. With the right bedtime routine, you can create a calm, predictable, and enjoyable evening for both you and your kids. I’ve help families in chaos and seen this work even on day one. So keep the end goal in mind.

So lets start. So the idea is we claw back the those moments of connection with our kids, playtime, connecting on walks, rides and playing old school games. I know right old school card games and board games. These take a bit of effort to teach and get going but they create great teacher able moments that help your children learn how to deal with the game of life.

Of course it is easier to give your kids the i pad or turn a show on or play the play station and sometimes this is necessary for you to grab a moment. But blue light suppresses melatonin production, delays sleep onset and potentially reduces sleep quality. But the set and forget could be the very reason why they wont listen to you. Are zoned out and you don’t know what is happening in their life at school and kinda. Not only that its addictive and its a battle to get them off right? So lets start working towards winding the kids down by 7:30pm before they want to start climbing the walls and not hop into bed and read a book.

So here is the Structure and why a Structured Routine Works

Children thrive on routine. When they know what to expect, they resist less, settle faster, and sleep better. This step-by-step plan ensures a smooth wind-down, so your kids are relaxed and ready for sleep—without the nightly struggle.

So here is The Bedtime Secrets for 4-10 year olds and Your Step-by-Step Guide

6:00 PM – Move Their Energy Out

Before bedtime can be peaceful, kids need to burn off excess energy. Encourage physical activity like:

✔ Playing outside

✔ Riding bikes or scooters

✔ Dancing to music

✔ Jump rope or obstacle courses

✔ Yoga or stretching

Let them get out the last bits of energy now so they’re ready to slow down later, you need to be there watching them show you their latest trick, move, help them with developing skills, dance silly with them and play..Use this as a way to shack off your day and connect with the reason you do go to work. This activity should be fun and enjoyable for everyone and last for atleast 30 minutes. If you want it to last longer start the activity sooner like 530pm not later.

6:30 PM – Warm Bath or Shower

A warm bath with magnesium salts (or just a warm shower) helps relax their muscles and signals to their body that it’s time to wind down. Bonus: If you add lavender soap, the soothing scent can help calm their nervous system.

Encourage them to dress themselves and talk about tomorrows activities and lay their clothes out for the next da. Its also the perfect time to choose a book to read for later. 

7:00 PM – Screens Off, Lights Low, Its time for a snack and dial in building that Connection by playing those old school games. Giving them your full attention like there is no one else in the universe you care about more. Kids notice everything. They notice you checking your phone. So put your phone away, turn off the notifications, turn it on silent this last 1.5 hours is crucial to the success of this process. If you a two person house hold. All try to join in with this activity if possible.

Blue light from screens can disrupt sleep, making it harder for kids to settle. Turn off all screens (TV, tablets, phones) and dim the lights.

Instead, create a cozy atmosphere by:

✔ Closing the curtains

✔ Turning on soft lamps or nightlights

✔ Playing gentle background music or nature sounds

And don’t forget to cool the house. Its very hard to fall asleep in a hot room.

A small bedtime snack can prevent late-night hunger wake-ups or those “Im hungry” statements just before heading in for bed. Choose something light and sleep-friendly:

Pair snack time with a bonding activity such as:

✔ Family card game (UNO, Go Fish)

✔ Drawing or coloring together

✔ Simple puzzles or storytelling

Or helping them with their homework. Some homework is set up on the ipads so if this is the case please encourage this to be completed straight after school in those early hours of the evening.

So these activities keep the kids engaged but not overstimulated, its super important to be fully engaged here and watch for early tired signs such as boredom, clinginess, fussiness or irritability. If they notice you not paying attention to them here the next step will be very difficult. So again put your phone away, turn your notifications off, put it on silent, unless you are oncall to do heart surgery, or brain surgery or some other emergency service. The text message and emails can wait an hour. 

With these exercises you should be listening to your children’s responses, making eye contact, looking for teachable moments, Building the connection up. Being the voice they listen too the most. Then when its time to wrap up the game. Try your best to end on a positive note and say lets go read that book you got out earlier. If they are not coming gently grab them by the hand, turning off the lights behind you and say okay I would love to hear you read now. Lets go to the toilet and brush our teeth. Make sure at this point all central house noise is at a minimum, there is no distractions, you have some water for them and their room and bed is ready for them to hop into to read.

7:30 PM – Teeth, Toilet & Book Selection

This step prevents all the “I need a drink!” or “I have to go potty!” excuses later.

✔ Brush teeth

✔ Final bathroom trip

✔ Let them choose a bedtime book (this gives them a sense of control) But it is also helpful if they can choose a book to read in advance like after they have their bath and are in their rooms getting dressed. This is a great time to get them to choose a book to read later. Also giving them something to look forward to later without the pressure of ‘choosing a book’ when they are super tired.. 

7:45 PM – Reading Time & Gratitude Practice

Reading together is a magical sleep trigger. Keep the lights low. Use a reading lamp if you have one. Try this:

✔ They read a book first (if age-appropriate) If not age appropriate have some on stand by. Its important for them to try to read or tell you about the pictures to help focus and calm their mind.

✔ Then you read a book to them. Kids sometimes fall asleep during this step.

✔ If not here is a few things we do. Share five things you’re grateful for from the day

Gratitude shifts their focus to the positive and creates a peaceful mindset before sleep.

8:15 PM – Count to Sleep

Now, guide them into sleep with a simple counting technique:

✔ Close their eyes and count backwards from 100 to 1 (or just 20 to 1 for younger kids)

✔ Match the counting to slow, deep breaths

✔ If they get distracted, start over gently

This slows their mind and makes drifting off effortless.

Bonus Tips for Success

✔ Stay consistent – Kids respond best to repetition. Stick to the routine every night.

✔ Be calm & confident – If you stay relaxed, they’ll mirror your energy.

✔ No more “one more thing” – Once the bedtime steps are done, it’s lights out. No negotiating! You can stay and hold their hand or cuddle if needed. But just quietly. No engaging in conversations with them now we can talk tomorrow. Reassure them, tell them you love them etc. But no pulling out your phone to check the vibrating message in your pocket. Stay the course. Once you know they are asleep which is usually a few minutes later. Spidar man out of there and enjoy your night.

✔ Now give it time – It can take a week or two for a new routine to fully work. Stay patient, and soon they’ll be asleep by 8:30 without a fight.

The Payoff: More Sleep, Less Stress, and Happier Nights and Thriving kids.

The goal is tucking your kids in at 8:15 PM, knowing they’ll be asleep by 8:30pm. No more endless battles, no more exhaustion—just peaceful, predictable evenings.

Now life happens and events come up and its up to you whether you go or not. But there is a couple of things you should know. interrupted sleep patterns can lead to a wide range of health problems including with behaviour, irritiabilty, difficulty managing emotions, attention, having problems concentrating and learning, it also can weaken immune function and predispose kids to other chronic health conditions such as depression, heart disease and obesity.

Research has shown that even a One hour shift like day light savings can significantly impact a persons health and well being.

So stick to the plan, and let bedtime struggles will be a thing of the past. We suggest to try it for a week, to see the difference!

Here’s to restful nights and happy mornings!

Here is some Bonus wind down activities for children who have heightened nervous systems. 

1. Humming for 8 breaths. This will calm their nervous systems done and help with an overactive mind. 

2. Affirmations- For children who have a busy mind and need help to focus and build self esteem. Such as I am resilient, I am Strong, I am Friendly, I am Kind etc.

Feel free to reach out for further coaching and support to our email remindmylife@gmail.com or book an appt on our website at www.ourmeditationclub.com.